Who Are ‘They’ Anyway?
In organisations, ‘they’ seem to be everywhere
We hear it often: ‘they’ said this; ‘they’ve’ done that; ‘they’ are at it again; ‘they’ are out to get us.
‘They’ surface in a lot of conversations, and substantiate all kinds of claims. ‘They’ seem to know everything.
But , who are ‘they’ anyway?
Often, ‘they’ actually means ME (the speaker). ME hides behind THEY in reporting bad or unpopular news. If THEY did or didn’t do something then ‘I’ can’t be accountable. It’s THEIR fault, not MINE. The veil of THEY allows ME to avoid responsibility.
Sometimes THEY is YOU (the leader). People will refer to THEY when they mean YOU. Using ‘they’ is general not specific, it’s softer. Maybe YOU made a decision I don’t like, perhaps you made a mistake. The amorphous THEY protects ME — it allows me to masquerade as the messenger, not the author.
Worse, all this THEY-ing bounces around and up the hierarchy. THEY make the rules. THEY caused this. It’s THEIR fault. THEY need to do something. THEY become mythical. Nobody is quite sure who THEY are and, in the end, NOBODY steps up.
Instead, encourage people to use WE and to own ‘ME’: “we collectively came to a decision, but I take responsibility for it”. WE are in this together. WE achieved this together. But, I’M responsible.
Stop THEY-ing. You’ll never find out who ‘they’ are anyway.
Dr. Denry Machin is an educational consultant specialising in teacher training and new school start-ups. His most recent book, ‘International Schooling: The Teacher’s Guide’, can be accessed here.
