Just say ‘No’: (or at least promise not to promise…)
As school leaders we like saying ‘yes’. We want our schools to be all things to all students.
It’s noble, and often self-sacrificing. But it’s also a trap.
Somewhere, somehow, something or someone has to give. We can’t offer everything every student (and every parent) might want. We can’t meet every need. We can’t be there for every student all the time. Trying to would break us, it would break the school, and, ultimately, it would be bad for the students.
The best school leaders (and the best teachers) make hard choices: they don’t say ‘yes’ to every parental request; they push back when students push in the wrong direction; they say ‘no’ to initiatives that aren’t the right fit, at least not right right now.
However, there’s something even more fundamental we should avoid.
Promises.
Promises are like debt. They pile up. They accrue.
We get weighed down by future obligations. We promised to review the reports system…later. We promised to offer a new extra-curricular activity…later. We promised a department something…later. We promised parents the world … but later.
Promises also incur interest.
The longer we wait to fulfil them, the greater the burden of expectation. ‘Yes …. later’ is still ‘yes’. It means yes, at some point — and it’s tiresome defending and deciding when that point might be.
Promises are easy to make and expensive to break. You can only promise so much before you’ve spent all your future energy. You can only break or defer promises so many times before trust erodes.
Granted, deciding priorities is hard. If it wasn’t, we’d get it all done now rather than promise it later. But it’s better to commit to what you can do today (or perhaps tomorrow, or at best next week), not some imaginary version of yourself or your school that might exist in the future — one that has more time, more money, or more information…you know, all the things that never happen.
As educators we are much happier saying ‘yes’. And we absolutely shouldn’t ‘leave students behind’. But we also shouldn’t promise them things we can’t deliver, or don’t know when we’ll be able to deliver.
Sometimes … at least occasionally … just say ‘no’.
Dr. Denry Machin is an educational consultant specialising in teacher training and new school start-ups. His latest book ‘International Schooling: The Teacher’s Guide’ can be accessed here.
If you enjoyed this over a coffee, consider buying me a coffee here.
